It's That Time Again

Furious driving, animalistic shopping, screaming, shoving, hitting, fighting. Nightmares of old lady's armed with shopping carts and big purses torture my dreams of what should be fun holiday shopping.

Fruitcake drivers in SUVs (or really anything larger than my Mini lol) haunt my trek to and from work. What is it about this supposedly joyous time of year that brings out such vicious sides of people? With 33 more days until Christmas I have now become the most devout online shopper of anyone I know.

While people will be up and out in the cold before the sun, I will be snuggled up in a blanket on my couch with a cup of steamy caffeinated goodness and my laptop before braving the roads to work. While they run frantically down isle after isle ready to pounce on anyone/anything that may hinder their ravenous shopping I simply point my mouse and become one click closer to my final Christmas purchase.

The very idea of "Black Friday" sends shivers down my spine, a childhood memory of being practically run down by an old lady pushing a shopping cart. My mother had to fight the old woman back so I could get my foot out from under her cart. I was scarred for life and as result have not been out to shop on a black Friday since I was 6 years of age.

Black Friday will be my day to safely hide behind my desk at work and hope beyond hope that anyone who calls or comes in may be either naturally happy or on Prozac :0) Just another year I wish people would truly come to see what the real meaning and purpose of these holidays are.

Here's to another season of people who already have more than they need, fighting over what they want, when there are so many who can barely survive. Certainly makes me feel selfish and more privileged that I could ever deserve. *sigh* It's that time again. Pass the Advil - please!

Because This Is America That's Why

I had this spanish gentleman call into my office today. He was rude, and very ignorant because I informed him I do not speak spanish. He wanted to know "WHY YOU NOT SPEAK SPANISH." Rather than reply (because every fiber of my being wanted to shout, "BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA THAT'S WHY!!) I just changed the subject towards how I could help him. However, he refused to get off the subject of why I do not cater to him and "his people" by learning their language. (at this point its running through my mind how "why would you want me to learn your language, then you would lose out on the fun you and your people have insulting Americans in your language so we don't understand! not to mention they don't speak English in "their country" for American who visit, the Americans have to learn spanish") I was losing patience (of course he did not know that) I remained jovial and polite and simply stated that I was again sorry but I do not speak spanish and perhaps he could call back with an interpreter? He was a tad ticked off at that statement, but ya know what! When I moved here, I had to start speaking English 24/7, I had to relearn how to spell alot of words because I spelled in french but guess what, my parents decided we were moving here and so I learned what was required of me, the country did not cater to me so I don't feel the need to cater to people too lazy to learn English. Sorry! Is that spiteful? I don't think so, ARG!! I digress, this was my, "I'm sick and still at work cuz I'm disgustingly loyal and wonder why I even got out of bed because of people like HIM," rant for the day, I'll retire my soap box and return to my vegitative state.

The Hostile Take Over

They are everywhere... I can't get away! At my every turn there THEY are sizing me up, contemplating my next move, and then.... AAAAAHHHHH at least a half of a dozen lady bugs fall on me, my desk, EVERYWHERE from the ceilling/light fixtures. as if I didn't have enough of them on my desk, my computer, phone and every other surface now they were planning air attacks! I am one of THOSE girls who can handle dirt, I own horses so there are the not so pretty spects of clean up there, but bugs... ya I can't handle bugs of any variety. I caught a lady bug crawling on my hand and had to stifle an involuntary squeek. I DO NOT LIKE BUGS. Funny when you consider how many are around in a horse barn, but I none the less am just terrified of bugs, even butter flies kind of creep me out - sure their wings are pretty but look closely at what those wings are attached too!!! needless to say I, am ready for another attack from the lady bugs and I will happily escort them outside! I still have to figure out where on earth they are coming from. They're cute so long as they don't TOUCH me, so I'll turn them lose so insecticide or anything but still they better not be getting anymore fall on Penelope ideas or I might have to break out the big guns!!

Road Rage... is...... fun?

Ok, i drive fast. I admit, I LOVE to speed around in my "street legal go-cart" as my Mini has come to be known. however, fast does not = rage infused road hazard. I speed yes, I do not tail gate, swirve at people, brake check, or whatever else crazy road rage peopl do. BUT!! This weekend, I had enough a a stupid college aged jerk who found it fun to go 15 miles under the speed limit in the fast lane (moving road block basically) so no on could pass anywhere and break check anyone who dared get close or flick lights at him. Well he tried brake checking me (twice) as he had several other vehicles only sad for him I was never close enough for it to affect me in anyway :0) (i flicked my lights at him once for about 2seconds so he braked hard). Lol, so I finally get around him and he put his high beams on behind me and left them on. I touched my brake peddle only enough for the lights to flash and then continued on my merry way, well Mr. Jerk came barrelling up behind me in response to my light flash I guess thinking he would intimidated me... Asshole in Lexus - meet rear end of Mini!!! I slammed my breaks on and went from 60 to 30 and HE went into the grassy median. hehehe. I know I shouldn't find it funny, and I really am NOT an aggressive driver, on the contrary I like speed, but I am usually the car who always tries to get out of the way and mind my business. I guess jerks like Mr. Lexus can get to anyone after a while. It still brings me a smile to think he probably had to completely scour his undercarriage to get rid of the mudd, leaves, grass, etc that lives in our medians. hehe hopefully he won't mess with anyone anymore, especially mini coopers :0) I don't think I'll be making a habit of being a jerk back to the crazy drivers, but just this once.... It was hilarious!