She Lives!!

two weeks post surgery and I'm alive!! it was decided a little late in life I should have those lovely tonsils and adenoids removed. Surgery went... uh well?? Let's see they did nerve damage to my tongue it's been two weeks and all I can feel are the tinglies, my mouth is pretty small so they broke my jaw in order to get my mouth open wide enough to remove my abnormally infected and large tonsils and they put me on steroids because of the severe swelling they feared it would affect my breathing.

Here I sit two weeks later and I can be reasonably understood when I talk and I can even eat soups now (I will never eat jello again!) nothing hot, nothing super cold just room temperature creamed soups doesn't that sound WONDERFUL!!

I baked insane amounts of cookies, tarts, cranberry bars, cakes, etc. lots of delectable foods, crab dip, shrimp puffs, steak, etc. for Christmas Eve dinner and I also did quiche, a breakfast casserole, breads, rolls, spicy potatoes, home made sausage, bacon, for Christmas Breakfast and I couldn't eat a single bite of any of it. I just stared longingly while I munched my ice chips and inhaled jello.

I did however, for Christmas dinner become very fond of bread pudding. It was pretty much my dinner but I was just so happy it wasn't gelatinous in any way!! I've been losing weight right and left, I think for those with tonsils who want to lose weight just get your tonsils taken out. It'll kill any appetite you could possibly have! Something about feeling like your swallowing razor blades that just ruins the fun of food.

Anyways I am alive and well and looking forwards to being able to eat solid foods in the new year!! I hope everyone had a wonderful family filled Christmas and an equally marvelous New Years!!

Good Deed for the Decade

So I did my good deed for the decade today. Not only did I not get upset that a woman who was talking on her cell phone rear ended me and damaged my beloved Zoey (my mini) I even sent her off with a hug, and a Merry Christmas. Not that I don't love my car, but it's only a few scratches and she was older and I'm sure didn't need that on her insurance/driving record. I think it's funny though I was calm and collected about it and everyone else is like WTF!! you should have called the cops and got her info and EVERYTHING. But you know what, I'm tired of getting upset because other people ruin what I've worked so hard to get. I love my car, I'm down right obsessive and anal about my car it's spotless all the time, but you know what I have NEVER owned a car not a single car that someone else didn't rear end. NOT ONE. (and I've owned 5 cars) I used to get so upset and cry and be angry and let it eat me inside, but now... this time, its just ok.

I hope she passes on the same kindness to someone else who makes a mistake. But I think, that was my good deed for the decade. Maybe all this cookie baking, holiday stress, work stress, school finals stress, volunteering, child mentoring, 2nd job stress has finally melted my brain... Alas, I am trying to be a good person, it's not easy though I tell you, I had to take a few deep breaths before getting out of my car on the side of the road. Here's to being best person I can be. I hope it doesn't kill me!!

Christmas Past

After helping an elderly woman who was struggling with her cart, contents and the loading of them into her vehicle I was surprised to hear - "I didn't think there were any kind, helpful youth in the world anymore. Thank you."

My heart swelled, ok so maybe it was my pride. but not pride in myself, pride in my parents for teaching my to respect my elders and to accomodate them whenever possible. I'm proud to say I was raised right. And this year more than ever I find myself going out of my way to help the elderly as I miss my grandparents to very much.

So many young people don't even realize the treasure they have in their lives to have grandparents. I haven't had a grandparent since I was 12 years of age. I miss baking cookies with my mom-mom (it'sa southern thing I hadn't heard of it either til we moved to The States) I miss bundling up when we went to visit my grandma in Canada for Christmas. Sledding in the front yard, making her furious for tracking snow onto her always freshly cleaned kitchen floor.

I miss my pop-pop (American) always getting so excited about his funny little trinkets he would collect all year just to see my eyes light up when he's pull them from behind his back. I miss hearing my mom-mom get on his case for not saving his treasures until Christmas day (I think that's where I got not being able to wait to give gifts from!). Singing Christmas carols that I barely remember the words to now, listening to stories of my grandparents' childhood Christmas' and how different life is now. I miss making snow angels, and laughing while shivering in the cold only to rush inside and sit by the woodstove until my cheeks are bright red. Helping my oldest brother shove my middle brother down slippery slopes covered with snow and ice... ya sibling violence - sniff sniff good times.

There is so much I miss from my Christmas' past. It brings a sadness to my Christmas present when I remember so many good times past and know that those beloved people will never touch our holidays again. I wouldn't necessarily call it Hum-Bug-itis but I am definitely not feeling overly joyous this season and I can't seem to shake it...
Maybe it was the woman who ran me down in the store with her cart yesterday... hmmm

Delinquent Blogger

I have a confession to make... I have been a delinquent blogger. When times get busy or a teeniest bit tough I have bailed on my blog like a cockroach when the lights come on. I am ashamed, delinquent and about to rectify that situation. With school finals all this week, baking Christmas cookies till I wanted to send charred lumps to all my relatives and friends out of frustration, and frantic shopping, decorating and the pressure of sweating excellence I am slowly but surely making progress in trudging through this holiday season. Alas, they closer it gets to Christmas, the more excited I get about giving my carefully selected gifts to my family, but I get more agitated, edgy and just wish it was over a little faster. *sigh* ah the whoas of such a supposedly glorious season.