Horsey Limo for 2 Please

I went to the Horse World Expo in Timonium today. Most of the speakers I saw were good, I was a little disappointed in the tack shops I admit, but I am trying a new frugal thing this year so I wasn't interested anyway! I did however almost sell my soul for a horse trailer, no, LIMO for two horses with EVERYTHING. I have wanted and need a larger trailer for about 6 months now as my "baby" has since grown to almost 18 hands tall (in normal people language his back stands at 6 feet tall) so he no longer fits in a regular height trailer no no my boy needed an extra tall trailer. Slightly more pricey though they may be, I took the plunge and bought a trailer not quite limo-esque but my goodness I want to live in it!!

The trailer sales guy got a pretty good laugh when he asked if I wanted to back up to the doors and hook up to take it home... I then promptly informed him that while Zoe (my mini) if a very tough car, she is no match for an almost 3,000 lb trailer. *sigh* so alas my excitement must be contained until I can go pick up the new trailer... now I need a name. (itsa weird fetish I name all my vehicles, trailers, and bugs/bees that may get trapped in my car.) anyways just a small bout of typed out excitement fueled by buying the horse trailer of my dreams.... I have the barn and the trailer, the horse... one day I might even have my own house :0) lol I think I have a few priorities mixed up but I'm getting there!!

Knowing the Price of Everything and the Value of Nothing

I was allowing my mind to simply wander today while we had a slow afternoon at work. While day dreaming and thinking of goals and dreams for the future it hit me like a ton of bricks. People today, and not only young people (this is not a stereo type kind of thing) just people in general seem to have lost their knowledge of the value of things. Price tags, status symbols, you name it we all have on super speed recovery but knowing the true value of things seems a thing of the past.

Time is money to alot of people and in many instances there is truth there, yet time is priceless. How can we put a price tag on time spent with family, baking cookies with grandma or learning to sew with my mom. I re-thought everything I've done in life, and the stark cold truth of all my failures washed over me like ice water, but ya know there are so many valuable, cherished moments in my life where I did the right thing or where I spent now treasured time with family and friends.

I am determined from here on out to try to live a life based on value, the value of life and not the price at which things are marked. Physical possessions are nice I admit I'm spoiled, but I can't take them with me and above all else family, friends and reaching out to others is what really give life VALUE and makes everything worth while.

It's that smile that's returned by a perfect stranger just because I smiled at them first. It's the way others will feel true surprise and delight when offered even a tiny kindness. While I know I'll have my selfish moments because I always do, I'm striving to do better, give more and help others as much as I can. I hope to truly understand the VALUE of life.

She Lives!!

two weeks post surgery and I'm alive!! it was decided a little late in life I should have those lovely tonsils and adenoids removed. Surgery went... uh well?? Let's see they did nerve damage to my tongue it's been two weeks and all I can feel are the tinglies, my mouth is pretty small so they broke my jaw in order to get my mouth open wide enough to remove my abnormally infected and large tonsils and they put me on steroids because of the severe swelling they feared it would affect my breathing.

Here I sit two weeks later and I can be reasonably understood when I talk and I can even eat soups now (I will never eat jello again!) nothing hot, nothing super cold just room temperature creamed soups doesn't that sound WONDERFUL!!

I baked insane amounts of cookies, tarts, cranberry bars, cakes, etc. lots of delectable foods, crab dip, shrimp puffs, steak, etc. for Christmas Eve dinner and I also did quiche, a breakfast casserole, breads, rolls, spicy potatoes, home made sausage, bacon, for Christmas Breakfast and I couldn't eat a single bite of any of it. I just stared longingly while I munched my ice chips and inhaled jello.

I did however, for Christmas dinner become very fond of bread pudding. It was pretty much my dinner but I was just so happy it wasn't gelatinous in any way!! I've been losing weight right and left, I think for those with tonsils who want to lose weight just get your tonsils taken out. It'll kill any appetite you could possibly have! Something about feeling like your swallowing razor blades that just ruins the fun of food.

Anyways I am alive and well and looking forwards to being able to eat solid foods in the new year!! I hope everyone had a wonderful family filled Christmas and an equally marvelous New Years!!

Good Deed for the Decade

So I did my good deed for the decade today. Not only did I not get upset that a woman who was talking on her cell phone rear ended me and damaged my beloved Zoey (my mini) I even sent her off with a hug, and a Merry Christmas. Not that I don't love my car, but it's only a few scratches and she was older and I'm sure didn't need that on her insurance/driving record. I think it's funny though I was calm and collected about it and everyone else is like WTF!! you should have called the cops and got her info and EVERYTHING. But you know what, I'm tired of getting upset because other people ruin what I've worked so hard to get. I love my car, I'm down right obsessive and anal about my car it's spotless all the time, but you know what I have NEVER owned a car not a single car that someone else didn't rear end. NOT ONE. (and I've owned 5 cars) I used to get so upset and cry and be angry and let it eat me inside, but now... this time, its just ok.

I hope she passes on the same kindness to someone else who makes a mistake. But I think, that was my good deed for the decade. Maybe all this cookie baking, holiday stress, work stress, school finals stress, volunteering, child mentoring, 2nd job stress has finally melted my brain... Alas, I am trying to be a good person, it's not easy though I tell you, I had to take a few deep breaths before getting out of my car on the side of the road. Here's to being best person I can be. I hope it doesn't kill me!!

Christmas Past

After helping an elderly woman who was struggling with her cart, contents and the loading of them into her vehicle I was surprised to hear - "I didn't think there were any kind, helpful youth in the world anymore. Thank you."

My heart swelled, ok so maybe it was my pride. but not pride in myself, pride in my parents for teaching my to respect my elders and to accomodate them whenever possible. I'm proud to say I was raised right. And this year more than ever I find myself going out of my way to help the elderly as I miss my grandparents to very much.

So many young people don't even realize the treasure they have in their lives to have grandparents. I haven't had a grandparent since I was 12 years of age. I miss baking cookies with my mom-mom (it'sa southern thing I hadn't heard of it either til we moved to The States) I miss bundling up when we went to visit my grandma in Canada for Christmas. Sledding in the front yard, making her furious for tracking snow onto her always freshly cleaned kitchen floor.

I miss my pop-pop (American) always getting so excited about his funny little trinkets he would collect all year just to see my eyes light up when he's pull them from behind his back. I miss hearing my mom-mom get on his case for not saving his treasures until Christmas day (I think that's where I got not being able to wait to give gifts from!). Singing Christmas carols that I barely remember the words to now, listening to stories of my grandparents' childhood Christmas' and how different life is now. I miss making snow angels, and laughing while shivering in the cold only to rush inside and sit by the woodstove until my cheeks are bright red. Helping my oldest brother shove my middle brother down slippery slopes covered with snow and ice... ya sibling violence - sniff sniff good times.

There is so much I miss from my Christmas' past. It brings a sadness to my Christmas present when I remember so many good times past and know that those beloved people will never touch our holidays again. I wouldn't necessarily call it Hum-Bug-itis but I am definitely not feeling overly joyous this season and I can't seem to shake it...
Maybe it was the woman who ran me down in the store with her cart yesterday... hmmm

Delinquent Blogger

I have a confession to make... I have been a delinquent blogger. When times get busy or a teeniest bit tough I have bailed on my blog like a cockroach when the lights come on. I am ashamed, delinquent and about to rectify that situation. With school finals all this week, baking Christmas cookies till I wanted to send charred lumps to all my relatives and friends out of frustration, and frantic shopping, decorating and the pressure of sweating excellence I am slowly but surely making progress in trudging through this holiday season. Alas, they closer it gets to Christmas, the more excited I get about giving my carefully selected gifts to my family, but I get more agitated, edgy and just wish it was over a little faster. *sigh* ah the whoas of such a supposedly glorious season.

It's That Time Again

Furious driving, animalistic shopping, screaming, shoving, hitting, fighting. Nightmares of old lady's armed with shopping carts and big purses torture my dreams of what should be fun holiday shopping.

Fruitcake drivers in SUVs (or really anything larger than my Mini lol) haunt my trek to and from work. What is it about this supposedly joyous time of year that brings out such vicious sides of people? With 33 more days until Christmas I have now become the most devout online shopper of anyone I know.

While people will be up and out in the cold before the sun, I will be snuggled up in a blanket on my couch with a cup of steamy caffeinated goodness and my laptop before braving the roads to work. While they run frantically down isle after isle ready to pounce on anyone/anything that may hinder their ravenous shopping I simply point my mouse and become one click closer to my final Christmas purchase.

The very idea of "Black Friday" sends shivers down my spine, a childhood memory of being practically run down by an old lady pushing a shopping cart. My mother had to fight the old woman back so I could get my foot out from under her cart. I was scarred for life and as result have not been out to shop on a black Friday since I was 6 years of age.

Black Friday will be my day to safely hide behind my desk at work and hope beyond hope that anyone who calls or comes in may be either naturally happy or on Prozac :0) Just another year I wish people would truly come to see what the real meaning and purpose of these holidays are.

Here's to another season of people who already have more than they need, fighting over what they want, when there are so many who can barely survive. Certainly makes me feel selfish and more privileged that I could ever deserve. *sigh* It's that time again. Pass the Advil - please!

Because This Is America That's Why

I had this spanish gentleman call into my office today. He was rude, and very ignorant because I informed him I do not speak spanish. He wanted to know "WHY YOU NOT SPEAK SPANISH." Rather than reply (because every fiber of my being wanted to shout, "BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA THAT'S WHY!!) I just changed the subject towards how I could help him. However, he refused to get off the subject of why I do not cater to him and "his people" by learning their language. (at this point its running through my mind how "why would you want me to learn your language, then you would lose out on the fun you and your people have insulting Americans in your language so we don't understand! not to mention they don't speak English in "their country" for American who visit, the Americans have to learn spanish") I was losing patience (of course he did not know that) I remained jovial and polite and simply stated that I was again sorry but I do not speak spanish and perhaps he could call back with an interpreter? He was a tad ticked off at that statement, but ya know what! When I moved here, I had to start speaking English 24/7, I had to relearn how to spell alot of words because I spelled in french but guess what, my parents decided we were moving here and so I learned what was required of me, the country did not cater to me so I don't feel the need to cater to people too lazy to learn English. Sorry! Is that spiteful? I don't think so, ARG!! I digress, this was my, "I'm sick and still at work cuz I'm disgustingly loyal and wonder why I even got out of bed because of people like HIM," rant for the day, I'll retire my soap box and return to my vegitative state.

The Hostile Take Over

They are everywhere... I can't get away! At my every turn there THEY are sizing me up, contemplating my next move, and then.... AAAAAHHHHH at least a half of a dozen lady bugs fall on me, my desk, EVERYWHERE from the ceilling/light fixtures. as if I didn't have enough of them on my desk, my computer, phone and every other surface now they were planning air attacks! I am one of THOSE girls who can handle dirt, I own horses so there are the not so pretty spects of clean up there, but bugs... ya I can't handle bugs of any variety. I caught a lady bug crawling on my hand and had to stifle an involuntary squeek. I DO NOT LIKE BUGS. Funny when you consider how many are around in a horse barn, but I none the less am just terrified of bugs, even butter flies kind of creep me out - sure their wings are pretty but look closely at what those wings are attached too!!! needless to say I, am ready for another attack from the lady bugs and I will happily escort them outside! I still have to figure out where on earth they are coming from. They're cute so long as they don't TOUCH me, so I'll turn them lose so insecticide or anything but still they better not be getting anymore fall on Penelope ideas or I might have to break out the big guns!!

Road Rage... is...... fun?

Ok, i drive fast. I admit, I LOVE to speed around in my "street legal go-cart" as my Mini has come to be known. however, fast does not = rage infused road hazard. I speed yes, I do not tail gate, swirve at people, brake check, or whatever else crazy road rage peopl do. BUT!! This weekend, I had enough a a stupid college aged jerk who found it fun to go 15 miles under the speed limit in the fast lane (moving road block basically) so no on could pass anywhere and break check anyone who dared get close or flick lights at him. Well he tried brake checking me (twice) as he had several other vehicles only sad for him I was never close enough for it to affect me in anyway :0) (i flicked my lights at him once for about 2seconds so he braked hard). Lol, so I finally get around him and he put his high beams on behind me and left them on. I touched my brake peddle only enough for the lights to flash and then continued on my merry way, well Mr. Jerk came barrelling up behind me in response to my light flash I guess thinking he would intimidated me... Asshole in Lexus - meet rear end of Mini!!! I slammed my breaks on and went from 60 to 30 and HE went into the grassy median. hehehe. I know I shouldn't find it funny, and I really am NOT an aggressive driver, on the contrary I like speed, but I am usually the car who always tries to get out of the way and mind my business. I guess jerks like Mr. Lexus can get to anyone after a while. It still brings me a smile to think he probably had to completely scour his undercarriage to get rid of the mudd, leaves, grass, etc that lives in our medians. hehe hopefully he won't mess with anyone anymore, especially mini coopers :0) I don't think I'll be making a habit of being a jerk back to the crazy drivers, but just this once.... It was hilarious!